Tuesday, July 31, 2012

July 31 2012

Lord, I am so thankful to you. I don't deserve your blessings and favor, yet you pour out on me. I am so grateful for health, family, provision, protection, direction, and my wife and kids. I know I don't deserve any of it lord, so I thank you thank you thank you. I still see my weakness, my brokenness, and my lean to sin and fill my mind with lusts and pride. Continue to work on me lord. Please be patient with me and continue to make me more like you. I still need your direction lord. Track 2? Thailand? Itineration/nervous/inadequate. My twin boys? ( is this what you want?) I ask for your heart, to hear your voice. I want to know what you are saying to me and my family for this time and the next season of my life. What are you going to use us for in Thailand? Sex trafficking? More kids? Adoption/foster care. I know I have a lot of questions but all these things are in my heart. You know my heart anyways so I should voice the obvious right. Man, I need more of your love lord, love to love you, love to love my wife and kids, love to love those who irritate me or are different than me. Crush my pride, my false humility. I want to be broken and possess a contrite spirit. Renew my thought life with your word and holy spirit. Give me insight, wisdom, and deeper faith. Continue to give me grace to fast and in fasting fashion my spirit to receive and hear. As I read your words in the prophets of the old testament I am amazed at your raw power and judgements, but I moved by your continually mercy and tender heart to your beloved. Thank you, though I deserve your wrath and judgement, you extend mercy to me and show me your heart for me. Cement in my heart your thoughts toward me and your love extended to me. I hear it, but I want to feel it and know it is truth. Lord, are you proud of me? Am I doing ok? All I see is my faults and shortcomings? What do you see lord? Sometimes I feel so inadequate because of my weak love, quick temper, and unrestrained words. I want to do better, my heart is to be perfect as you are perfect. Help me lord. I can do nothing on my own. I need your help. My strength is weak and quickly runs out. Uphold me with your mighty arm. Gird me with strength. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. Renew me lord and let me run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint. In every season of my life, let me be faithful and steady.

Friday, July 27, 2012

July 27, 2012

Lord, thank. You for another day of your love, blessing and favor. I pray today that alli will engage your heart and experience your love, I pray that it will be more than just an emotional experience but you will bring all the pain and hurt to the surface and heal her and strike her heart with a zeal and passion to know you more than anything else. Whatever you have to do lord, please engage her and let this atc be more than just a social event to her. I also pray for andrea. I pray that you will continue to dig deep in her heart and bring all the buried pain and deferred hope and heal her and renew her wholeness and trust in you, help me to be sensitive and give discernment to speak your words to her and to be silent when she needs a listening ear or a caring, gentle touch. Lord I also pray that you will give me signs, dreams, visions of what you are doing in my lifeand my family. I have a desire for more sons. Will you give me a sign in a vision or dream that you will answer my cry. I ask for confirmation, the supernatural. I want to see and experience signs and wonders. I also ask this weekend while Seth is here, that you will monitor and restrain any wrong emotions and attitudes that will hurt or create distance in relationships. Help me to be patient, forgiving, understanding, and compassionate. Give me your love. O god, I need your love so much. Love for Erica, destiny, and heather. My love is so weak. I need love for Seth. Lord fill my reservoir with your love so I can love others like you want me too. I love you daddy. You are so so good to mr

Thursday, July 26, 2012

July 26, 2012

Lord, I pray for the battle for my eyes. My eyes are a window to my soul. The eyes determine my heart. May I only have eyes for you, your word, and your face. Turn my eyes from worthless things. Turn my eyes away from the lusts of the flesh and the pride of life. I make a covenant with my eyes not to look lust fully on another woman. This has been an ongoing battle for me, for years. I need a breakthrough lord. This weakness in my life is constantly attacking me. Please help me to overcome. I can not do it in my own strength and i need your strength and you to fight the battle for me. It constantly overwhelms my thought life and attacks my spirit. I don't want want it anymore. Kill my flesh lord so your spirit may have preeminence. Wash me with your word and renew me my mind and make it yours. I feel so weak and inadequate with this battle because just when I get a small victory, I take two steps back. I am at a loss for what to do. I cry out for your help. Will you deliver me from this stronghold. Will you strike down this constant barage of immoral thoughts in my mind. I want to be pure. I want to be holy. I want to have clean hands and a pure heart. I want you to be the only one that catches my eye. I want your beauty to encapture me like nothing or no one else. Thank you lord, that though my heart and flesh fail, you are still my portion. I need you so much lord. I can do nothing without you. I desire only you. This world with all it's lusts and pursuits hold no value compared to your pleasures and thoughts toward me. May your presence and your voice be the greatest desire and pursuit of my life.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

July 25, 2012

Lord, as I read the book of Amos, I am reminded of your power, your judgments and your swift punishments. I see that the behavior you hate the most, is given the appearance of being an obedient follower and lover of you but inwardly and in the secret place, being an example of corruption, perverseness, and immoral behaviors. In Amos 5:21-24 you say that you hate worship, sacrifices, church services, and our singing when they are not backed up with righteous living and acts of justice. Lord, I want my life to be an act of acceptable worship to you. I want my songs and words to be backed up by clean hands and a pure heart. A broken and contrite spirit you won't despise. I don't want to say I love you with my tongue and then use that same tongue to lash out in anger or belittle someone else. Mold my life so the whole ness and every aspect of my life is in agreement with who you are. I want the day of the lord to be light for me and not darkness. I want that day to be salvation and not judgment and condemnation. I also ask for grace to continue to fast. Help me to commit those days to yes, fasting food,but feasting on you. It is very hard but I want to be close to you and become weak so,you are strong in me. I need your help and strength on those days. Come and aid me. Your burden is easy and your yolk is light. I pray for my sister today. Will you sweep over her with your love today. Will you come and be her help, her refuge, her strong tower. Give her an encounter with your heart and your feelings towards her. Answer her prayer and open up a job position for Wes so they can be close to mom and dad. Today, I pray that she we feel your rest and she will cast all her cares on you, because you care for her. I also pray that you will restore to me my twin sons. I know that is a big request lord, but nothing is too big for you right? You formed the mountains, created the wind and sit on the high places of the earth. You healed the sick and raised the dead and you, yourself rose from the dead. Healing me, and giving me twin sons is nothing for you. You are king,Yahweh, god of the world, the universe, and even more. You lord are eternal, there is no end or beginning to you. Hear my cry and give me the desire of my heart. Let hope continue to arise in Andrea and I. Give us dreams and visions of your provision,your activity in our lives and hearts. I will continue to ask until this desire has been removed. I ask, so I will receive. Open up the supernatural and perform a miracle of life in Andreas womb that can only be contributed to your hand and no glory will be given to another. Do it for your glory lord, so,that man will put their trust in you and not medicine or science.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

July 24, 2012

Lord, you are so gracious to me. I see all my lusts, imperfections but yet you still love me. Lord are you happy with me? Am I doing ok? I feel like I fail so much. I feel like I don't love my kids enough or love my wife enough. I feel so weak and inadequate. I have heard all the language that god delights in me and even in my weakness you still love me, but I want to hear you say that over me. I want to feel it in my heart and soul. I see so much selfishness, pride, and false humility in my heart. Lord, rid me of that junk. I want to be holy, pure, and undefiled. Lord, I want visions and dreams. I want to see and hear your voice so strong. I want deep revelation in your word. I want to know you better than anyone or anything else in my life. Give me more hunger for intimacy with you and hunger for your word. Thank you so much for your patience with me. Thank you so much for my family, our health, your provision, your blessing and favor with you and man. All I have is because of you. I am nothing in and of myself. Continue to keep us healthy. Give me more love on a daily basis for heather, Erica, and destiny. Help me to be more sensitive, compassionate, and more of a servant to my wife. Give me wisdom and counsel for Megan, alli, and heather. Help me to speak Into their lives. Lord I love you. Forgive my sins and throw them far from me. Wash my though life with your word. Though I am weak and waiver sometimes, I am so glad your grace and mercy are like an ocean for me. Grow me, mature me, I am yours.

Friday, July 20, 2012

July 20, 2012

Lord, you are a good good god. This meditation on scripture works. I take one verse and read it, write it, and chew on it and you give me so many deep truths. Thank you for your revelation, a window into the mystery of who you are. Lord continue to give me the hunger and grace to search you out in prayer and your word. I want to have intimacy with you that I hear your voice so quickly and clearly that I respond to it and act on it. thank you for working in my heart. Give me deeper revelation. Keep bringing up the junk buried deep in my heart. Purge me and cleanse me so that I have a broken and contrite spirit. Lord, I want to operate in the destiny you have for me. If it is Thailand, I will go. If it is ihop, I will go. If it something else, I will obey. Please lord, speak direction to me. What shall I do, where shall I go? I will trust you and obey, but lord I need to hear your voice in clarity in regards to future direction. I don't want to choose. Or run my own life. I want you to govern me and lead me. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, how I love you, how I want more of you. Keep my vessel empty of worthless, trivial pursuits. Help me to empty myself daily so that you will continue to fill me. I never want to be full. I always want to be emptied, so you can fill me again. Lord I love you.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

July 19th 2012

Lord, I miss my boys. My precious sons, Caleb and Ian. I remember holding them and the tears that I weeper over them. I wish I could see and hold them right now. I understand in part why you took them away but not fully do I understand. I trust you lord. Lord, I have not asked in years because I thought adoption was the avenue of children for Andrea and I, but the desire for more biological sons is still strong. Will you grant me more sons. Will you heal my infertility and give Andrea and i more sons through natural means. Lord I want to see your signs and wonders. Lord i long to see conception not through doctors or medicine but by your hand. You are lord over the barren womb. In proverbs you say the barren womb is never satisfied. I ask for more lord. Give me more sons. Show your power and bring new life. Lord I also pray that you will crush my pride and ego. Destroy my critical spirit and haughty attitude. Help me to love, be a man of compassion and patience. Teach me how be gentle and loving with those who are different with me or irritate me. Help me not consider myself better than anyone else but in all things to be humble and prefer everyone more than myself. The more I get closer to you lord, the more I see the junk in my heart. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. It is sometimes painful but you are purging me and maturing me. I am your broken contrite vessel. Do as you want lord, make me more like you. Lord, others see my big heart, but all I see is the junk, the weakness and my shortcomings. Show me what you see. Tell me what you feel. I am dark, but show me that you see me as lovely. Give me grace to fast today. In my weakness of flesh, will you break through. I love you.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

July 17th, 2012

Lord, I am so thankful to you. Thank you so much for bringing me to ihop for this season. I love your presence. I love hearing your voice and getting close to your heart. Father, I want my life all to be for your glory. I want you to have the first place, you to have preeminence. Lord wherever you are taking me I will go and obey you. Teach me the deep nuggets and pearls of your word. Speak to me lord. Unveil your heart, your love, your feelings towards me. Give me visions in the day and dreams at night. Like Elisha lord I want a double portion of your spirit. Like you transferred your spirit from Elijah to Elisha will you transfer your spirit in me. Help my weak love. Love through me so I can love you more, my wife more and my kids and even random people that I don't know well. Will you bring a trusted friend that I can be accountable with and real with. Someone I can open my heart too without being afraid of betrayal or mistrust. Give me grace to fast more. Teach me discipline and to run my days with commitment and excellence. I want to walk in love with all my kids. Give me compassion and patience with them. I ask for wisdom and godly counsel when talking with my wife and kids. I want. To be the man, the leader you want and need. Me to be. Let the holy spirit be strong in our home, in our family. Release a hunger in me for your word, your worship and your heart. Bring up in my heart any scum, garbage, or sin that I am unaware with and give me the grace to deal with it and destroy it. Make me perfect and holy like you are holy and perfect. I love you Jesus. Thank you for your grace and patience wit me

Saturday, July 14, 2012

July 14th 2012

Father, I thank you so much for bringing me into this season of my life at ihop. You are bringing up my heart issues. My weak love, my critical spirit, my lust addiction, my selfishness, my false humility, and my pride. Yes, lord it is hard to see this in my heart because it is crushing and humbling, but I know you are making it known to me because you are purifying my heart so I can have direct intimacy with you and love you in holiness. Father my greatest desire is to know you intimately and not to be known or lead a great ministry or have a crowd adore me. Rid me of myself, my lust, my judgmental and critical spirit. I don't want my heart to be dull or hard when I sit in. Your presence. I want to know your voice over my own and learn to sit and enjoy you. Keep working on me lord. Keep pouring out your grace because you know i need it. I don't want to try to perform for you anymore. Reveal to me your love for me for who I am and not what I do. I love you daddy and thank you for being patient with me. Teachand give me tools and disciplines in this season that will last Me for the rest of my life. Unlock the mysteries of your word and give me access into the riches of your heart. Your favorite