July 31 2012

Lord, I am so thankful to you. I don't deserve your blessings and favor, yet you pour out on me. I am so grateful for health, family, provision, protection, direction, and my wife and kids. I know I don't deserve any of it lord, so I thank you thank you thank you. I still see my weakness, my brokenness, and my lean to sin and fill my mind with lusts and pride. Continue to work on me lord. Please be patient with me and continue to make me more like you. I still need your direction lord. Track 2? Thailand? Itineration/nervous/inadequate. My twin boys? ( is this what you want?) I ask for your heart, to hear your voice. I want to know what you are saying to me and my family for this time and the next season of my life. What are you going to use us for in Thailand? Sex trafficking? More kids? Adoption/foster care. I know I have a lot of questions but all these things are in my heart. You know my heart anyways so I should voice the obvious right. Man, I need more of your love lord, love to love you, love to love my wife and kids, love to love those who irritate me or are different than me. Crush my pride, my false humility. I want to be broken and possess a contrite spirit. Renew my thought life with your word and holy spirit. Give me insight, wisdom, and deeper faith. Continue to give me grace to fast and in fasting fashion my spirit to receive and hear. As I read your words in the prophets of the old testament I am amazed at your raw power and judgements, but I moved by your continually mercy and tender heart to your beloved. Thank you, though I deserve your wrath and judgement, you extend mercy to me and show me your heart for me. Cement in my heart your thoughts toward me and your love extended to me. I hear it, but I want to feel it and know it is truth. Lord, are you proud of me? Am I doing ok? All I see is my faults and shortcomings? What do you see lord? Sometimes I feel so inadequate because of my weak love, quick temper, and unrestrained words. I want to do better, my heart is to be perfect as you are perfect. Help me lord. I can do nothing on my own. I need your help. My strength is weak and quickly runs out. Uphold me with your mighty arm. Gird me with strength. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. Renew me lord and let me run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint. In every season of my life, let me be faithful and steady.