Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Lord, I want to live out the sermon on the mount lifestyle. I want to live a lifestyle of fasting. I want to give out of my lack and not my surplus. I want to serve others in humility and not have a critical or judgmental spirit. I want to learn how to restrain my tongue and bless my enemies and not focus on defending myself. I want to pray and get deeper into your word. Lord, help me to sow to my spirit and not my flesh. My flesh is so strong sometimes. Give me strength to kill it and let my spirit man rise up and become stronger. Speak to me holy spirit. I will obey. Show me where you want me to go and what you want me to do. I will obey. Test me, try me, use me. I will obey. You can trust me god. I am your man. You can trust me with your gospel, with the destiny you have for me.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Lord, as I sit in this prayer room this morning, I feel you. I have been asking all this morning to fill me with your love so I can serve you more out of love and not out of duty. What do you say in return to me? You ask me to give 1200 dollars to Amanda and Daniel to help them do track 2. That was not the response I was looking for. I was expecting an overwhelming rush of your presence and a sensation of you touching my heart. You work in mysterious ways lord. Are you teaching me something here? I know you are speaking to me, almost to the point of tears. I felt you. It was almost like your touch and interaction with me was for the sole purpose of teaching me to respond in sacrificial giving. It was like you were saying,in order for me to fill your heart with more love, I must expand it more first. I must get your eyes of yourself and your self trust and then you have to trust and love me more because you have no self made resources to lean on. I don't know if this is what you are doing or not lord, these are just my thoughts. Whatever you are doing, don't stop. I want to be obedient and walk a sermon on the mount lifestyle. I trust you to provide for a trip to Thailand if this is what you want. I trust you to provide for my family while we itinerate. I trust you to give us a place to live. I trust you to take the care of our cars. I trust you to keep us healthy. Lord, all these things are nothing for you, so I give out of my lack and not my surplus. Keep on teaching me lord. Help me to hear and immediately be obedient.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Lord, I need your revelation. There are so many mysteries in your word that I want you to unveil and reveal to me. There is so much I want to know and understand. Show me the wondrous things in your word. Give me the treasure map to find the priceless gems and nuggets of truth that will revolutionize my heart. I want to know your heart, your thoughts, your feelings, your plans. Stir my heart. Awaken my passion and fan into flame my hunger for you. I am so dark lord, but you still call me lovely. Lord, I don't boast in anything other than I understand and know you.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Lord, I am so thankful to you. I don't deserve your blessings and favor, yet you pour out on me. I am so grateful for health, family, provision, protection, direction, and my wife and kids. I know I don't deserve any of it lord, so I thank you thank you thank you. I still see my weakness, my brokenness, and my lean to sin and fill my mind with lusts and pride. Continue to work on me lord. Please be patient with me and continue to make me more like you. I still need your direction lord. Track 2? Thailand? Itineration/nervous/inadequate. My twin boys? ( is this what you want?) I ask for your heart, to hear your voice. I want to know what you are saying to me and my family for this time and the next season of my life. What are you going to use us for in Thailand? Sex trafficking? More kids? Adoption/foster care. I know I have a lot of questions but all these things are in my heart. You know my heart anyways so I should voice the obvious right. Man, I need more of your love lord, love to love you, love to love my wife and kids, love to love those who irritate me or are different than me. Crush my pride, my false humility. I want to be broken and possess a contrite spirit. Renew my thought life with your word and holy spirit. Give me insight, wisdom, and deeper faith. Continue to give me grace to fast and in fasting fashion my spirit to receive and hear. As I read your words in the prophets of the old testament I am amazed at your raw power and judgements, but I moved by your continually mercy and tender heart to your beloved. Thank you, though I deserve your wrath and judgement, you extend mercy to me and show me your heart for me. Cement in my heart your thoughts toward me and your love extended to me. I hear it, but I want to feel it and know it is truth. Lord, are you proud of me? Am I doing ok? All I see is my faults and shortcomings? What do you see lord? Sometimes I feel so inadequate because of my weak love, quick temper, and unrestrained words. I want to do better, my heart is to be perfect as you are perfect. Help me lord. I can do nothing on my own. I need your help. My strength is weak and quickly runs out. Uphold me with your mighty arm. Gird me with strength. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. Renew me lord and let me run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint. In every season of my life, let me be faithful and steady.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Lord, thank. You for another day of your love, blessing and favor. I pray today that alli will engage your heart and experience your love, I pray that it will be more than just an emotional experience but you will bring all the pain and hurt to the surface and heal her and strike her heart with a zeal and passion to know you more than anything else. Whatever you have to do lord, please engage her and let this atc be more than just a social event to her. I also pray for andrea. I pray that you will continue to dig deep in her heart and bring all the buried pain and deferred hope and heal her and renew her wholeness and trust in you, help me to be sensitive and give discernment to speak your words to her and to be silent when she needs a listening ear or a caring, gentle touch. Lord I also pray that you will give me signs, dreams, visions of what you are doing in my lifeand my family. I have a desire for more sons. Will you give me a sign in a vision or dream that you will answer my cry. I ask for confirmation, the supernatural. I want to see and experience signs and wonders. I also ask this weekend while Seth is here, that you will monitor and restrain any wrong emotions and attitudes that will hurt or create distance in relationships. Help me to be patient, forgiving, understanding, and compassionate. Give me your love. O god, I need your love so much. Love for Erica, destiny, and heather. My love is so weak. I need love for Seth. Lord fill my reservoir with your love so I can love others like you want me too. I love you daddy. You are so so good to mr
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Lord, I pray for the battle for my eyes. My eyes are a window to my soul. The eyes determine my heart. May I only have eyes for you, your word, and your face. Turn my eyes from worthless things. Turn my eyes away from the lusts of the flesh and the pride of life. I make a covenant with my eyes not to look lust fully on another woman. This has been an ongoing battle for me, for years. I need a breakthrough lord. This weakness in my life is constantly attacking me. Please help me to overcome. I can not do it in my own strength and i need your strength and you to fight the battle for me. It constantly overwhelms my thought life and attacks my spirit. I don't want want it anymore. Kill my flesh lord so your spirit may have preeminence. Wash me with your word and renew me my mind and make it yours. I feel so weak and inadequate with this battle because just when I get a small victory, I take two steps back. I am at a loss for what to do. I cry out for your help. Will you deliver me from this stronghold. Will you strike down this constant barage of immoral thoughts in my mind. I want to be pure. I want to be holy. I want to have clean hands and a pure heart. I want you to be the only one that catches my eye. I want your beauty to encapture me like nothing or no one else. Thank you lord, that though my heart and flesh fail, you are still my portion. I need you so much lord. I can do nothing without you. I desire only you. This world with all it's lusts and pursuits hold no value compared to your pleasures and thoughts toward me. May your presence and your voice be the greatest desire and pursuit of my life.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Lord, as I read the book of Amos, I am reminded of your power, your judgments and your swift punishments. I see that the behavior you hate the most, is given the appearance of being an obedient follower and lover of you but inwardly and in the secret place, being an example of corruption, perverseness, and immoral behaviors. In Amos 5:21-24 you say that you hate worship, sacrifices, church services, and our singing when they are not backed up with righteous living and acts of justice. Lord, I want my life to be an act of acceptable worship to you. I want my songs and words to be backed up by clean hands and a pure heart. A broken and contrite spirit you won't despise. I don't want to say I love you with my tongue and then use that same tongue to lash out in anger or belittle someone else. Mold my life so the whole ness and every aspect of my life is in agreement with who you are. I want the day of the lord to be light for me and not darkness. I want that day to be salvation and not judgment and condemnation. I also ask for grace to continue to fast. Help me to commit those days to yes, fasting food,but feasting on you. It is very hard but I want to be close to you and become weak so,you are strong in me. I need your help and strength on those days. Come and aid me. Your burden is easy and your yolk is light. I pray for my sister today. Will you sweep over her with your love today. Will you come and be her help, her refuge, her strong tower. Give her an encounter with your heart and your feelings towards her. Answer her prayer and open up a job position for Wes so they can be close to mom and dad. Today, I pray that she we feel your rest and she will cast all her cares on you, because you care for her. I also pray that you will restore to me my twin sons. I know that is a big request lord, but nothing is too big for you right? You formed the mountains, created the wind and sit on the high places of the earth. You healed the sick and raised the dead and you, yourself rose from the dead. Healing me, and giving me twin sons is nothing for you. You are king,Yahweh, god of the world, the universe, and even more. You lord are eternal, there is no end or beginning to you. Hear my cry and give me the desire of my heart. Let hope continue to arise in Andrea and I. Give us dreams and visions of your provision,your activity in our lives and hearts. I will continue to ask until this desire has been removed. I ask, so I will receive. Open up the supernatural and perform a miracle of life in Andreas womb that can only be contributed to your hand and no glory will be given to another. Do it for your glory lord, so,that man will put their trust in you and not medicine or science.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Lord, you are so gracious to me. I see all my lusts, imperfections but yet you still love me. Lord are you happy with me? Am I doing ok? I feel like I fail so much. I feel like I don't love my kids enough or love my wife enough. I feel so weak and inadequate. I have heard all the language that god delights in me and even in my weakness you still love me, but I want to hear you say that over me. I want to feel it in my heart and soul. I see so much selfishness, pride, and false humility in my heart. Lord, rid me of that junk. I want to be holy, pure, and undefiled. Lord, I want visions and dreams. I want to see and hear your voice so strong. I want deep revelation in your word. I want to know you better than anyone or anything else in my life. Give me more hunger for intimacy with you and hunger for your word. Thank you so much for your patience with me. Thank you so much for my family, our health, your provision, your blessing and favor with you and man. All I have is because of you. I am nothing in and of myself. Continue to keep us healthy. Give me more love on a daily basis for heather, Erica, and destiny. Help me to be more sensitive, compassionate, and more of a servant to my wife. Give me wisdom and counsel for Megan, alli, and heather. Help me to speak Into their lives. Lord I love you. Forgive my sins and throw them far from me. Wash my though life with your word. Though I am weak and waiver sometimes, I am so glad your grace and mercy are like an ocean for me. Grow me, mature me, I am yours.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Lord, you are a good good god. This meditation on scripture works. I take one verse and read it, write it, and chew on it and you give me so many deep truths. Thank you for your revelation, a window into the mystery of who you are. Lord continue to give me the hunger and grace to search you out in prayer and your word. I want to have intimacy with you that I hear your voice so quickly and clearly that I respond to it and act on it. thank you for working in my heart. Give me deeper revelation. Keep bringing up the junk buried deep in my heart. Purge me and cleanse me so that I have a broken and contrite spirit. Lord, I want to operate in the destiny you have for me. If it is Thailand, I will go. If it is ihop, I will go. If it something else, I will obey. Please lord, speak direction to me. What shall I do, where shall I go? I will trust you and obey, but lord I need to hear your voice in clarity in regards to future direction. I don't want to choose. Or run my own life. I want you to govern me and lead me. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, how I love you, how I want more of you. Keep my vessel empty of worthless, trivial pursuits. Help me to empty myself daily so that you will continue to fill me. I never want to be full. I always want to be emptied, so you can fill me again. Lord I love you.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Lord, I miss my boys. My precious sons, Caleb and Ian. I remember holding them and the tears that I weeper over them. I wish I could see and hold them right now. I understand in part why you took them away but not fully do I understand. I trust you lord. Lord, I have not asked in years because I thought adoption was the avenue of children for Andrea and I, but the desire for more biological sons is still strong. Will you grant me more sons. Will you heal my infertility and give Andrea and i more sons through natural means. Lord I want to see your signs and wonders. Lord i long to see conception not through doctors or medicine but by your hand. You are lord over the barren womb. In proverbs you say the barren womb is never satisfied. I ask for more lord. Give me more sons. Show your power and bring new life. Lord I also pray that you will crush my pride and ego. Destroy my critical spirit and haughty attitude. Help me to love, be a man of compassion and patience. Teach me how be gentle and loving with those who are different with me or irritate me. Help me not consider myself better than anyone else but in all things to be humble and prefer everyone more than myself. The more I get closer to you lord, the more I see the junk in my heart. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. It is sometimes painful but you are purging me and maturing me. I am your broken contrite vessel. Do as you want lord, make me more like you. Lord, others see my big heart, but all I see is the junk, the weakness and my shortcomings. Show me what you see. Tell me what you feel. I am dark, but show me that you see me as lovely. Give me grace to fast today. In my weakness of flesh, will you break through. I love you.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Lord, I am so thankful to you. Thank you so much for bringing me to ihop for this season. I love your presence. I love hearing your voice and getting close to your heart. Father, I want my life all to be for your glory. I want you to have the first place, you to have preeminence. Lord wherever you are taking me I will go and obey you. Teach me the deep nuggets and pearls of your word. Speak to me lord. Unveil your heart, your love, your feelings towards me. Give me visions in the day and dreams at night. Like Elisha lord I want a double portion of your spirit. Like you transferred your spirit from Elijah to Elisha will you transfer your spirit in me. Help my weak love. Love through me so I can love you more, my wife more and my kids and even random people that I don't know well. Will you bring a trusted friend that I can be accountable with and real with. Someone I can open my heart too without being afraid of betrayal or mistrust. Give me grace to fast more. Teach me discipline and to run my days with commitment and excellence. I want to walk in love with all my kids. Give me compassion and patience with them. I ask for wisdom and godly counsel when talking with my wife and kids. I want. To be the man, the leader you want and need. Me to be. Let the holy spirit be strong in our home, in our family. Release a hunger in me for your word, your worship and your heart. Bring up in my heart any scum, garbage, or sin that I am unaware with and give me the grace to deal with it and destroy it. Make me perfect and holy like you are holy and perfect. I love you Jesus. Thank you for your grace and patience wit me
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Father, I thank you so much for bringing me into this season of my life at ihop. You are bringing up my heart issues. My weak love, my critical spirit, my lust addiction, my selfishness, my false humility, and my pride. Yes, lord it is hard to see this in my heart because it is crushing and humbling, but I know you are making it known to me because you are purifying my heart so I can have direct intimacy with you and love you in holiness. Father my greatest desire is to know you intimately and not to be known or lead a great ministry or have a crowd adore me. Rid me of myself, my lust, my judgmental and critical spirit. I don't want my heart to be dull or hard when I sit in. Your presence. I want to know your voice over my own and learn to sit and enjoy you. Keep working on me lord. Keep pouring out your grace because you know i need it. I don't want to try to perform for you anymore. Reveal to me your love for me for who I am and not what I do. I love you daddy and thank you for being patient with me. Teachand give me tools and disciplines in this season that will last Me for the rest of my life. Unlock the mysteries of your word and give me access into the riches of your heart. Your favorite
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Lord I need you this week. I am feeling lethargic, unmotivated and so ready to leave. There is so much to do this week and once again I remind myself to finish strong. Please Lord help me this week. Help my attitude, my work ethic and my perseverance. Please purify me also Lord. Rid me of all lust and protect my thought life. I don't want to do anything or let anything happen to derail the destiny you have for me. You are a wonderful God and a gracious Savior. I am so thankful for your favor and blessing. My health, my family, and your constant attention to me overwhelms me. You have protected my family, our finances, and our path. Thank you so much Lord for the honor to fulfill the call of the Great Commission. Like Solomon again, I ask for wisdom and discernent above all. Reading about the details and the extravagance of your temple shows me what a majestic God you are. Now, I am your temple and I pray that my life honors you in as much as that temple did. Lord, help me to be a better husband and father. Give me more love, more patience, and more compassion. Help me guide my kids into your truth and give me advice and counsel for them. Keep me humble because your Word says that humility comes before honor. Help me to be meek and gentle but firm in the truth and my love and pursuit for righteousness. Forgive me for my selfish and evil intentions. Purify my heart. I pray that you will give me your eyes for the lost. Help me to be attentive to the Holy Spirit and to be obedient when He speaks. Thank you for your favor. I am so humbled that you would consider me a servant to step into the shoes of the next season of our lives. Protect us Lord from the attacks of the enemy. The battle is yours and you are my avenger. I trust in You Lord and will follow your lead and will follow you all the days of my life. I love you father and I want to be more like you
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Dear Father, How great you are. No one is like you in all the heavens and earth. Everything you do is right and just in time. Thank you for your wisdom, your knowledge. Help me to continue to seek it. I want to be a man of honesty and integrity and deals in truth. I want to be a man who leaves a legacy and inheritance to my children that is dripping with zeal and passion for the one living God. Thank you that you have stored up blessing for me. Teach me to reign in my emotions and not to act or speak impuslevily. Teach me the true fear of the Lord so I might have a quiet but strong confidence. Teach me humility and to walk in meekness and gentleness. Thank you so much for your favor at our state missions interviews. Thank you for the comments they made to my wife and I. I want to stay humble and let your promote me because I know humility comes before honor. Thank you for our health and your continued protection over my family. You are so so good. Continue to guide us during this transtion. Help these next 2 weeks to go smoothly. Help me to be a man of strength, integrity, and to pursue holiness and righteousness. Help me to be gentle and speak in love, but to not shrink back and to continue to obey the HOly Spirit. Protect our finances Lord and bless us with enough to care of our needs and to still be a blessing to others. I want to be a better husband and father Lord. Help me love more, because my love is weak and limited. I need you to love through me. Help me to teach my kids about you and pour into them your Word. You are so gracious to me and I love you so much. Give me more of a hunger for prayer and your Word. Lord, I renounce any generational curses in my life. I renounce any spirits of lust that have been passed down to me. Devil you get your hold off me and God, break the hold. No more will you attack my mind. Lord you have my thoughts and my heart. Bless this day Lord and give me favor and guide me into all truth
Thursday, June 14, 2012
I love you Jesus. You are my God. I will serve only you. You are the only one true God. You are sovereign and reign and there is no other like you. Thank you for your grace and mercy towards me. Thank you for your thoughts towards me; they outnumber the sand on the seashore. You are so lovely and beautiful. Thank you for being my God. Thank you for your provision, protection and my health. Thank you for my family. Give me grace as I grow to love my wife and kids more. Keep me humble, keep me steady. Lord I want to be faithful. I want to be a man you can trust and count on. Lord, like Solomon's prayer; I am a little child and I don't know how to come out or go in. I need wisdom and discernment to judge between good and evil. More than riches, long life, or honor Lord I want discernment of people's hearts, intentions, and spiritual discernment. Open my eyes up to the truth and give me discernment like no other. Lord I feel like I am on an island as I have obeyed Holy Spirit and stood up to evil spirits. I feel attacked, intimidated, and sometimes dominated. Lord, please be my defense. Vindicate me O God. Lord I want to do nothing out of pride or selfish ambition. I am not looking for fame, ego strokes or honor, but I am looking to be obedient to you and what you are asking of me. My spirit is grieved that the church has allowed jezebel spirits into their midst and leadership has not stood up against it. Lord, you know I can only do so much without the support of senior leadership but know God that I am doing everything I can. Please Lord open up Pastor's eyes to the spiritual warfare that he needs to engage in. Please Lord let him see that this is more than just normal church riffs but their are spiritual attacks and movements that are working in his church that are killing the church. Give him a boldness, a strength to stand up and oust these spirits. Lord, I will stand against this spirit in me, my family, and any ministry you ask me to lead. I will not be governed or ruled by any Jezebel or any other evil spirit for that matter. You are my God and I will have no other. Continue Lord to be a defense and sheild for my family. Protect them and let no harm come to them. Continue to help me speak when needed, but remain silent when I know my words will be like pearls thrown to swine. Lord, these next few weeks are going to be hard. I want to be strong and continue my strong fight and stance, but I also want to be humble and have a meek and lowly spirit. I will fight for justice and will not waver. Expose the lies and bring those who are lying to justice. Reveal the true hearts of the oppresor and accuser. Help me to hear your voice continually so I may obey it and walk in it. Help our family to be strong and pursue righteousness and holiness. Give me more insight into the situation and the spiritual battle and the spirits I am fighting against. I love you Jesus so much and look upon me and guide me during this difficult time.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
You are my God and I will never let go of you. I would of been destroyed long ago if it wasn't for you, my refuge, my high tower, my defense. I will rest in you Lord and wait patiently on you. I will not worry when the wicked seem to prosper. I lay down my anger and wrath and let you be my avenger and defense. I know that evildoers will have an end and your justice and righteousness will prevail. Keep me humble and meek and seek for peace but keep me strong in the fight and not give ground to the evil one. Keep me upright and order my steps Lord. Delight in me Lord and uphold me with your right hand. Do not forsake me. Give me wisdom and keep me close to your Word. Let none of my steps slide. I put my trust in you Lord, never let me be put to shame. Deliver me in Your righteousness and cause me to escape. Incline your ear to me and save me. Be my strong refuge, for you are my rock and my fortress. I will boast of your righteousness all day long. Let those who seek my hurt be confounded and brought to shame. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comfort delights my soul. Thank you for your Word Lord. It is water to my soul and medicine for my heart. Be my avenger. All vengeance belongs to you. O God shine forth with your vengeance. Rise up o Judge of the earth and render punishment to the proud. They are uttering speech and speaking lies. They are break into pieces your people and afflict your heritage. Rise up Lord and serve your justice. As for me O Lord set righteousness and integrity constantly before me. Let no fault or no lie found in me. Reveal the truth and keep me seeking after it. I pray that you would protect my wife and kids from these malicious attacks and protect them from the evil one. Let their minds be guarded and their hearts be set on you. Satan, I come against you in the name of Jesus and bind you and cast your off. You have no authority in my home, with my family, and in my life. Your attempts to divide, accuse, and destroy are futile because greater is he that is in me (us) than He that is in the world. I put on the whole armor of Christ and fight knowing that the battle belongs to the Lord and victory is assured. Lord, I will continue to stand no matter that consequences or false accusations. I just pray that Pastor Paul will fight with me, but even if he doesn't I will continue to fight for justice, righteousness and truth, no matter what it may cost me. You will bless the upright and give me favor in due time. I love you Jesus and I trust you.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Holy Spirit, you are amazing. Thank you for your nudges, your impressions, your guiding, and your still voice that leads me into all truth and righteousness. Lord, I thank you for your mercy that you pour out on me daily. I do not deserve any of it and your grace humbles me. Please Lord, continue to give me strength to fight for justice and righteousness. I want your approval and not mans. Lord I want to fight for your honor and uphold my integrity. Thank you for this righteous zeal and Holy Spirit boldness you have given me. Please continue to strengthen me and empower me these next 4 weeks before I leave Bethel. I want to finish the job and finish strong. I want to be know as a man who followed the Holy Spirit at Bethel and did whatever it took to protect the sheep (students) and fight for righteousness. Please continue to talk to me, to fill my mouth with your words and to direct my steps. You are so gracious to me and I am so thankful for your leading and trust with me. I anxiously await this next season of my life; KC and then itineration, and then Thailand. I trust you in everything. I trust you for provision, protection, and guidance. Lord continue to bless our family financially and with good health. Continue to keep all our bills low and protect our vehicles. I come against these recent attacks from the enemny and in Jesus name, Satan, you leave us alone. You have no authority. We will fulfill our destiny and this next season of our life, you will have no influence. Get your hands of my children, off my wife, off me, and off our lives. I pray that you will strengthen Megan today and give her an assurance and boldness that she is in your perfect will. Fill Alli with your love and get her eyes of herself and onto you. Continue to heal Erica and Destiny. Unite them with me and Andrea and I pray for deliverance from past experiences. Raise up my son to be a warrior, a lover of you, and a strong leader. Fill his mouth with Holy Spirit. Give Andrea strength today and the love and patience she needs to love your children. Help me to be the father and husband you need. Also Lord give me words to say to Ali Laing today. May they be words of encouragement and refreshment. Guide me Holy Spirit. Keep me humble, meek, and lowly. Help me today in staff to know when to keep my mouth shut and when to open it. I want to defend righteousness and give insight but help me to know when words will fall on deaf ears. I need wisdom and discernment always. I love you so much Father and thank you for your favor and blessing upon me and my family. You deserve all the glory, honor and praise. My life is everything it is today because of your favor and blessing. I boast in your Jesus Love Your Son